How Narcissists Treat Their Exes? Find Out if Your Ex Was a Narcissist

Breakups are rarely easy. They can be emotionally charged, messy, and leave you questioning the intentions and behavior of your former partner. But what happens when you suspect that your ex might have been a narcissist? Understanding how narcissists treat their exes can provide valuable insights into the dynamics of your past relationship. In this article, we’ll delve into the world of narcissism and shed light on common behaviors exhibited by narcissists toward their ex-partners.

how narcissists treat their exes

The Narcissistic Personality and How Narcissists Treat Their Exes

To comprehend how narcissists treat their exes, it’s essential to grasp the core traits of narcissistic individuals. Narcissists display a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In relationships, this can manifest in various ways.

  1. Devaluation and Discard

One hallmark of narcissistic behavior is the tendency to devalue their partners over time. Initially, a narcissist may put their ex on a pedestal, showering them with attention and affection. However, as the relationship progresses, they may start to criticize, belittle, or undermine their partner’s self-esteem.

This devaluation often culminates in the discard phase, where the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship without much explanation or remorse. They may act as though their ex-partner is no longer of any value to them, leaving the other person hurt and confused.

  1. Hoovering

After discarding an ex, narcissists might engage in a manipulative tactic known as “hoovering.” This involves attempting to draw their former partner back into the relationship or maintaining a connection. Hoovering can include sending nostalgic messages, making promises to change, or even using guilt as a tool to regain control.

how narcissists treat their exes
  1. Triangulation

Narcissists are known for creating drama and jealousy by involving a third party, a tactic called triangulation. They may flirt with or date someone new shortly after a breakup to incite jealousy in their ex-partner. This can be emotionally distressing for the ex and serves the narcissist’s need for attention and admiration.

Related: Are Narcissists Manipulative? 9 Ways to Determine if You Are Being Manipulated

  1. Playing the Victim

Another way narcissists treat their exes is by portraying themselves as the victim. They may twist the narrative of the breakup to make it seem as though they were wronged or mistreated by their former partner. This can confuse mutual acquaintances and create a distorted perception of the relationship’s dynamics.

  1. Lack of Closure

Closure is often elusive when dealing with a narcissistic ex. They may avoid meaningful conversations or provide vague explanations for their actions, leaving their former partner with unanswered questions and a sense of unfinished business.

how narcissists treat their exes

Dealing with a Narcissistic Ex

If you suspect your ex was a narcissist, it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being. Here are some steps to consider:

  1. Establish Boundaries: Maintain clear boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation or emotional harm.
  2. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance.
  3. Self-Care: Focus on self-care and rebuilding your self-esteem after a toxic relationship.
  4. No Contact: Consider implementing a “no contact” rule to prevent further emotional turmoil.

In conclusion, understanding how narcissists treat their exes can help you make sense of a tumultuous past relationship. It’s essential to prioritize your own healing and well-being when dealing with the aftermath of a narcissistic partnership. Remember that you deserve a healthy and loving relationship built on respect and empathy.

As you embark on this voyage of self-love, know that you are not alone. Here at, we’re with you every step of the way. So, take a deep breath, embrace your beautiful imperfections, and let self-love be your guiding star on this incredible journey of life.

Related: How Do Narcissists Control You?

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